Pretty Girls Don’t Get Less Than A Hundred Likes On Their Selfie

I thought I was depressed because of social media.

I posted a picture of myself on Instagram and five minutes later, I deleted it, because nobody liked it. I thought I looked pretty in it. I genuinely loved the picture, but in a span of five minutes, I decided I didn’t like it anymore, because nobody else did.

Two weeks later I posted it again with a stronger filter and increased the brightness, and I got 57 likes, and I felt good again, but then an overwhelming feeling of disappointment washed over me. I liked the first picture better, so why didn’t I keep it up?

It’s because I define my worth by how many likes I get on a picture or a post, and the realization of that fact actually causes my stomach to flop.

We’re the generation of social media. We all have four core social media accounts kept directly on our phones. Some of us have even more. And that isn’t going to change.

The generations that came before us will continue to scoff as we pull out our phones and rant about how when they were younger, they went outside. They’ll pit us against ourselves and the generation we’re apart of.

We’ll try to take breaks from our social media accounts, and limit the time we spend on our phones, but we’ll never actually get away from it. We can’t. It’s become too important. It’s gained too much power.

We feel it’s needed to keep in touch with old friends. We’re asked by our bosses to promote their business. We have groups on Facebook with our fellow students to help each other study and work on projects. We even use it as a platform to follow our dreams by promoting and sharing our art. And it is truly great for those purposes, but some times, it also depresses the hell out of us, but it isn’t social media that we should blame. It’s us.

Social media has become a competition of who has the more perfect life. If we truly posted to let our old friends know how we were doing, we would post about the bad stuff too, but we don’t. I know, that’s human nature. We don’t like to air our dirty laundry. I’m not saying we’re wrong for it. I’m just saying the negative effect it has on us is undeniable.

We never post about our failures, but we always let everyone know about our accomplishments. We think the friends we have on social media are perfect, so we strive to be perfect like them. We could have had a thousand bad things happen that week, but we’ll post about the one good one, and in result, our friends on social media see us as perfect, just as we see them.

We don’t post pictures of the test we failed or the write up we got at work for being too exhausted to even show up on time, but as soon as we get an A, or a raise, we don’t even entirely soak up the moment before posting it to Facebook or Instagram.

We don’t post pictures of the arguments we have with our significant others, but we always post the pictures of them kissing us on the cheek, or smiling at us like we make them the happiest person in the universe. If only a camera was around to capture the moment I cussed him out for snoring so loud I couldn’t sleep.

We post pictures of ourselves, but only after we take 20, refusing to settle for anything that makes us look less than perfect. Well, as perfect as we can be before we slap a filter on it and brighten our skin.

The women before us compared themselves to the models in magazines, and it hurt, but deep down they knew those women weren’t real.

We compare ourselves to our peers, the very girls we went to high school with. They don’t use airbrush like the models in magazines, but the filters supplied for free by Instagram.

So yes, it’s humiliating to admit I deleted a picture of myself that I loved because nobody hit a stupid like button on it, but it’s true. It’s also true I’ve failed tests before, and have gotten yelled at by my boss at work. I’ve dealt with real issues like depression and anxiety. I’ve fought with my spouse to the extent of wondering if we were even meant to be together anymore. It’s hard to shed the skin of pretending to be perfect. It feels embarrassing, but it feels amazing knowing I’m not the only one. Because I guarantee you, every person you believe is perfect on your social media account is facing struggles you have no idea about.

So please remember, social media might not be completely fake, but it isn’t even close to being completely real either. And, please, remember, if you feel anything like I do, post the pictures you love, and don’t give a damn what people think. You hold the power of how you feel, and don’t you dare give it away to the insignificant like button sitting underneath your beautiful picture.

 

 

Advertisements

633 Comments Add yours

  1. Laima Mikelsone says:

    I was literally thinking about this two days ago. We are really lacking some brutal honesty in social media, to balance out the “perfect lives” of everyone.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Scattered Scripturient says:

      Yes completely agree!! I just posted a no make up no filter selfie the other day as well. I think it’s important

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Laima Mikelsone says:

        It is! And you’re beautiful! 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  2. moiline says:

    I just wanna share. My friend told me that my feed is nice. He also asked how do I edit my pics. I told him that I don’t really edit my pics. I change the lighting then that’s it (if necessary). I just want to keep a pic as it is. I am not after the so-called feed goals that there must be a theme to your feed. I share whatever pic that’s captivating and
    I don’t mind who click the like button. It doesn’t matter. As long as you yourself appreciate the pic, then that’s already good enough. 🙂 Btw, nice post (y)

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Scattered Scripturient says:

      Awe I love that and I completely agree. I recently posted a no makeup and no filter or edited selfie and I loved it. Plus it help me get over all this 😊 thank you!!

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Beauty Without the BS says:

    Totally agree with your stance on this. I’ve noticed that, the happier I am, the less likely I am to post things on Instagram.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Scattered Scripturient says:

      Yes that is very true for me too! Because when we’re truly happy, we do not seek validation. Thank you for reading 😊😊

      Liked by 2 people

  4. life6830 says:

    Really well written and interesting piece. Keep it up gal!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Scattered Scripturient says:

      Thank you so much 😊❤

      Like

  5. Very real and a simple truth. Sometimes I don’t post a picture because I feel it isn’t good enough. Good enough for who I don’t even know.
    Great Post!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Scattered Scripturient says:

      Thank you so much! Glad you enjoyed 😊😊

      Like

  6. Girl_Online says:

    I like the thought that you gave that you shouldn’t mind about the likes because for me, i think god created everyone beautifully ~❤️

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Scattered Scripturient says:

      I completely agree 😊😊

      Like

  7. japjigrewal says:

    I agree. Moreover, people may be more beautiful and stunning in their real life. Social media is not any platform to judge beauty. Loved it.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Scattered Scripturient says:

      Thank you so much! Completely agree 😊😊

      Liked by 1 person

  8. gxna says:

    I loved this writing so much ❤ And I could also relate, I delete photos that don’t getany likes too.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Scattered Scripturient says:

      Thank you so much! I’m glad you enjoyed. 😊😊 it’s hard but hopefully we cha both gain more confidence and saw screw them! It doesn’t matter 😊😊

      Liked by 1 person

  9. Kajolawana says:

    Truly enjoyed reading your words, honestly being a fashion blogger I constantly have to think if the angle is right, it’s not over edited and that I have to look good in every photo to keep my followers happy but sometimes a clumsy selfie won’t do harm to the ‘perfect’ instagrammer image now. Thanks for those words, really appreciate them. 💕

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Scattered Scripturient says:

      Thank you so much!! So glad you enjoyed 😊😊

      Liked by 1 person

  10. dreamheigh says:

    I am proud of you…dear

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Scattered Scripturient says:

      Thank you 😊😊😊

      Like

  11. bisolas says:

    Good one and this is so true!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Scattered Scripturient says:

      Thank you 😊

      Like

  12. tre0808 says:

    Really enjoyed this! I totally agree and have done the same!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Scattered Scripturient says:

      Thank you!! 😊😊

      Like

  13. Intentergy says:

    Beautifully written. The snapshots shown of our lives on social media are just that SNAP shots. They are tiny moments among the millions of moments that surround us. We need to make each moment count and not count the times someone has a pic that we think is better than ours. You are beautiful. No filter needed. 🙂

    Like

  14. Jacqueline says:

    I so needed this today. I can get caught up in the “numbers” game way too easily and forget why I’m on instagram or why I’m doing my blog. “Is this pic cute enough? Is this post going to be popular enough?” and it steals from the authenticity. I so appreciate your honesty. I really enjoyed it 🙂

    Like

    1. Scattered Scripturient says:

      Thank you so much! I am the exact same way! I’m glad you enjoyed ❤

      Like

  15. Autumn says:

    Vulnerable, real, and beautiful. Thank you.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Scattered Scripturient says:

      Thank you for reading 😊❤

      Like

  16. muskan3916 says:

    Yaaa yaaa that is the magic of a girl

    Liked by 1 person

  17. Lucy says:

    Completely agree with this! I do that all the time. I’ll post something and monitor it non stop for the first few minutes and if I get nothing, I get this overwhelming feeling of anxiety. I think I’m not pretty, not good enough, and now everyone will see I don’t have likes and think less of me. I panic and I delete it. This would happen in a span of like three minutes, lol
    Feel like I’m starting to get way too obsessed with the whole concept.
    Need to pull away, don’t know how :/

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Scattered Scripturient says:

      This is EXACTLY what happens to me!!! I totally know what you mean. I think the same thing about people seeing I don’t have any likes. What I try to do is post the picture and then just not even go back on the app for a few hours, and as long as I truly love what I posted, then I feel okay about it. Before I post now too, I ask myself will I still like this if it doesn’t get any likes? And if the answer is yes then I post it 😊 thanks for reading!!

      Like

      1. Lucy says:

        That’s a great idea! Im just so bad at self control haha. Thanks for writing, great read!

        Like

  18. I really enjoyed this! I totally agree and have done the same countless times!

    ~Elizabeth
    Cutebrainpants.com

    Like

  19. Cass says:

    This is extremely true. I don’t know how many times i’ve barely gotten likes and convinced myself that I was ugly. It’s crazy that people actually are like this. Me included. I think recently i’ve been trying to find a healthy balance. I want to have people follow me and take nice pictures of my life and friends and all, but I don’t want it to consume my whole life. I don’t want to live my life worried about how many likes I get. Idk its just not something that I want or need in my life. Thank you for sharing your story 🙂

    Like

  20. snow says:

    Thats was deep. I completley agree with you. We idolize and strive to be like those people who are getting thousands of likes on their pictures without taking the time to think of the struggles that they’re facing in everyday life. However ive definitely deleted a picture before because of not to many likes. Thanks for the good read !

    Like

  21. Tori Conway says:

    I love this so much! I never really post selfie’s on Instagram, but I find myself doing this with my kids pictures. If I don’t get the “perfect” lighting or the right angle I won’t post a picture that I really love because I am too concerned with it not being liked by people or brands. I have been a little better about it lately but the overwhelming feeling of need for likes is horrible.

    Thank you so much for putting this into words!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Scattered Scripturient says:

      Thank you so much 😊😊 I completely agree. I always find myself being a perfectionist. Definitely something I’m trying to change though!!

      Liked by 1 person

  22. jo3500 says:

    Really you have lot of guts that you have spoken such things….
    It happens with all of us almost…its generic nature actually…
    Even i admit that I never admit my failures …my sadness…but a lil happiness…a lil success need to be shared…
    But it can also taken in a positive manner that we just want to share our happiness not our griefs

    Like

  23. C says:

    Wow I really loved this post. The part where you said “You hold the power of how you feel” really resonated with me. I find that when I’m too consumed with social media, I’m much less likely to genuinely feel happy because I’m always comparing myself, my likes, and my follower count. We definitely are in the age of technology, which can be a good or bad thing depending on how you use it.

    Like

  24. arbylyra says:

    I am guilty of deleting a photo too. I even deleted a series of photos because I actually forgot to put borders in it (which is a requirement for my instagram feed lol) and right now, I just don’t care anymore. Whether people like it or not, whether they like me or not, it’s my life and the only validation that I need is from myself.

    I really love this post, I can relate to you very much!

    Like

  25. ilearnnew says:

    Simple yet fruitful words, intelligent woman!

    Like

  26. nadinek12 says:

    This really resonated with me. It is so much easier to get caught up in feeling like you are less than your peers in comparison to times, as you mentioned in your post, where all you had to compare were magazines. While there are many advantages to social media, sometimes I question whether the pros of being involved in such websites/apps outweigh the cons. While I do need to keep in touch with old friends, is it worth worrying about whether I look good to other people when I could just send a nice text every few days or make times for phone calls here and there?

    Like

  27. The Teenage Blogger says:

    So true and inspiring thank you

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Scattered Scripturient says:

      Thank you so much 😊❤

      Like

      1. The Teenage Blogger says:

        Please I need help i could you please help me give a shout out to my blog I’m just new and I need to be noticed please I don’t mean to be rude

        Like

  28. Bailie White says:

    I love this! You hit the nail on the head. I just wrote a post about why I deleted social media altogether and this just gave me even more affirmation on why it was the right choice for me!

    Like

  29. forgedinink says:

    Wonderful post! I’ve been feeling this way not only about instagram, but my own blog. Thanks for reminding me to post the pictures I love and write about what matters to me. Keep up the awesomeness.

    Like

  30. Finally, someone made a post about this! Keep up the witty work ! xx

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Scattered Scripturient says:

      Awe thanks so much!! 😊

      Like

    1. Scattered Scripturient says:

      Thank you 😊

      Liked by 1 person

      1. BabyTopaz says:

        Very well written indeed. Let’s not post a post or a photo for others. Do it for ourselves. You are beautiful. ❤

        Like

  31. Brilliant write up! Felt like they were all thoughts taken from my head! Couldn’t agree more!

    Like

  32. Reblogged this on #hijabified and commented:
    This is a great article, and the author offers some deep insights. Worth a read!

    Liked by 1 person

  33. boon.bron says:

    This was really deep and so so so true😍I loved it and it’s so relatable, I always post pictures of the perfect times and never the unperfect. I think that people who have more likes and followers are so much more perfect than me when actually they also have flaws.❤
    Thank you so much for this post, I would love to hear more🌼😊

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Scattered Scripturient says:

      Thank you so much for reading. I’m glad you enjoyed 😊

      Like

  34. prajaktha says:

    So true.i agreed

    Liked by 1 person

  35. RadiantlyUrs says:

    “We’ll try to take breaks from our social media accounts, and limit the time we spend on our phones, but we’ll never actually get away from it. We can’t. It’s become too important. It’s gained too much power.”

    I so agree with this.. I had my Facebook account deactivated for 5 years and finally re-activating it to promote my writing (which I’m taking a shot at again… )
    There’s just no getting away….

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Scattered Scripturient says:

      Yes! Exactly I’ll try to take small breaks now but then I need to promote my writing, same as you, and I’m right back on there. Thanks for reading!!

      Like

  36. Wow, this is intense, honest, and most beautifully raw. 💐

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Scattered Scripturient says:

      Thank you so much! ❤❤

      Like

  37. Blue Bells says:

    Your post is a reminiscence of various instances where I myself did it.
    I tweet something which according to me was deep and intellectual and so damn true, but after an hour or so I deleted it because I didn’t get any like or retweet.
    So relatable and true your post is.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Scattered Scripturient says:

      I’ve done the same!! Thank you so much ❤

      Like

  38. lashay34 says:

    You are beautiful. Great read. I’m new to this so check out my blog

    Like

  39. Oh, I so love this. If you are interested, I posted something along the same lines… trying to offer a lighthearted perspective of how ridiculous it all is!! Great post and thanks for having the courage to be honest and for sharing your wisdom!
    https://wordpress.com/post/nataliebreazeale.wordpress.com/1319

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Scattered Scripturient says:

      Thanks so much!! I’ll definitely check it out 😊

      Like

  40. trendsandrelations says:

    Thank you for this- it was such an important reminder for me!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Scattered Scripturient says:

      Thank you! That makes me so happy to hear that❤

      Liked by 1 person

  41. miakouppa says:

    Lovely post. I will be sharing it with my teenage daughters 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Scattered Scripturient says:

      Awe that’s awesome!! Thank you 😊

      Liked by 1 person

  42. This is beautiful. It really made me think about how I react to social media myself. Thank you for writing this ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Scattered Scripturient says:

      That makes me so happy to hear! You’re welcome 😊❤

      Like

  43. This is so relatable on so many levels for so many people. You captured a lot of what many think and how social media is used. It’s crazy to think how it’s become so much a part of our lives but you’re right, we just have to stay true to ourselves and not let it dictate our life and emotions.

    Liked by 1 person

  44. theethnichic says:

    Beautifully scripted ! Loved the post !!👍🏼

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Scattered Scripturient says:

      Thank you so much 😊😊

      Liked by 1 person

  45. Great post, really honest and great to read! 😁

    Liked by 1 person

  46. I have just started using WordPress and had a few blogs but this is genuinely a good one..it surely is the bitter reality of today’s generation.

    Like

  47. The Apathetic Indian says:

    Good one. It’s amazing how social media was supposed to connect us all (which it does) but is now known more for causing an existential crisis for a generation as a whole.

    Sorry for the plug but I wrote something on similar lines – “Why you need Fakebook in your life and how to use it make people hate theirs” https://apatheticindian.com/2017/05/31/why-you-need-fakebook-in-your-life-and-how-to-use-it-to-make-people-hate-theirs/

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s