An Open Letter To The Man Who Harassed Me

Dear Harasser,

It was past midnight and I was exhausted. I had worked a double shift that day, and all I wanted to do was fall in to bed and drift away in to a deep sleep, but first, I had to take the trash out.

I looked at the clock, and for a second I hesitated. It’s late, and it’s dark. I shouldn’t be going outside right now. But as quickly as the thought entered my head, I pushed it away. My trash was overflowing and it needed to be taken out.

I slipped on a hoodie, threw my hair up on top of my head, and slipped in to some baggy sweat pants. I wanted to get this over with as quickly as possible. Thankfully, the dumpster is only 25 ft away from my apartment building, I thought to myself.

Pushing my way through my apartment door, I stepped outside, garbage bag in hand. I set it down for a moment after the wind had nipped at my face. I pulled the hood of my sweatshirt over my head to cover my ears, and then continued down the sidewalk on my short walk to the garbage can. 5 more minutes and I will be in bed. 

I was 10 steps from my destination when your car slowed next to me, and pulled off to the side of the road. Your headlights shined bright, causing me to squint my eyes. My heart started to pound in my chest and I could feel my palms begin to sweat, because I just knew. 

I quickened my pace, walking right past your rolled down window, refusing to even look in to your eyes. I reached the dumpster and swung the trash bag in to the garbage, but I didn’t turn around. I just stood there, preferring to face the dumpster rather than to face you.

“Hey baby, you shouldn’t be out so late,” you slurred, clearly in no state to be driving.

I dug my teeth in to my bottom lip, and turned around slowly, keeping my gaze locked on the ground. I settled my hand on my phone in the pocket of my sweatshirt and looked down at the buttons quickly dialing 911, but not yet hitting send. I hoped it wouldn’t come to that, but as a woman, you never know. So alas, I begin to walk past you again, my thumb hovering over the green button that would dial the police if need be.

“Did you hear me baby?” you asked, this time, your voice a little more stern. “Give me a smile.”

I sucked in a large gulp of air, forcing my wobbly knees to keep moving forward, and just as I passed your car you thought you’d try one more time.

“I asked you a question, bitch,” you muttered harshly.

My hands balled in to fists and for first time, I wanted to face you and tell you what an asshole you really were, but I didn’t. I forced myself to keep walking, a tiny sliver of relief washing over me now that I had safely passed your car.

“I was only trying to help you out, you stupid whore. Try not being such a bitch next time,” were your final words before you skidded your tires as you pulled back on to the road and drove off.

I ran the rest of the way to my apartment and quickly slammed the door behind me before immediately turning the lock. A shaky breath passed through my lips, and my shoulders deflated in defeat, but then at a sudden realization, a smile tugged at my lips.

You’re a sad guy, aren’t you?

You’re the type of guy who thinks all women owe him something. It killed you I didn’t respond to you, and it absolutely infuriated you that I didn’t even meet your gaze.

Good.

You think I’m obligated to talk back to you, because you talked to me, but I’m not.

A woman doesn’t owe you a response because you said hi to her. A woman doesn’t owe you a damn thing.

I didn’t meet your gaze because I didn’t want to. I didn’t respond to your words because I wasn’t your “baby.” And I didn’t smile, because a drunk ass hole was attempting to hit on me while I was just trying to take out the garbage.

So, next time you decided to hit on a woman and she doesn’t respond, leave her the hell alone, and remember she doesn’t have to respond to you because that’s her right, and you can never take that away from her.

Sincerely,

One Of The Women You’ve Harassed

Advertisements

64 Comments Add yours

  1. Very powerful article!

    Liked by 3 people

  2. My heart goes out to you- nobody should be made to feel like that! As for that guy, he was a (probably drunken) idiot who had no right to say any of that stuff to you. He’s pathetic, and so is anyone else nasty enough to do that! You just keep being you 🙂 ❤

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Scattered Scripturient says:

      Thank you so much for the kind words. I also completely agree. He is definitely an idiot! 😂

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Lovely post… Every harasser should read this letter 🙂

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Scattered Scripturient says:

      Thank you! ❤ I hope at least some do!

      Liked by 1 person

  4. myusuf2016 says:

    I love your stuff, keep it up.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Scattered Scripturient says:

      Thank you!! Much appreciated😊

      Like

  5. Befitting answer for all such hell persons.. I guess he have came to the place he deserved-nearby a bin…Hahaa! Very well done..

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Scattered Scripturient says:

      Agreed! Thank you very much!!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Your most welcome…

        Like

  6. suman124 says:

    Inspiring article….

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Scattered Scripturient says:

      Thank you 😊

      Like

  7. suman124 says:

    Inspiring article

    Like

  8. Blue Settia says:

    “A woman doesn’t owe you a response because you said hi to her”
    Wow..very intense read. I imagined everything in my mind so perfectly. I did the thing wit my tongue under my lip.
    It’s scary to be a woman sometimes. All power to you. Minding your own business. Just like that guy should have been. But you’re right, maybe he expected something. Ugh. Heart is with you!

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Scattered Scripturient says:

      Thank you! Love that you were able to imagine everything.
      It is definitely scary to be a woman sometimes. If only someday that could change. Very unlikely though. Thank you again ❤

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Blue Settia says:

        You are very welcome! ☺️

        Like

  9. shifa692 says:

    Awesome touched the heart ♥

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Scattered Scripturient says:

      Thank you!!

      Like

  10. Reblogged this on The Lupie Momma and commented:
    Sadly this is the world we live in, where we as women battle this constantly. Yes, it happens to men, but more often than not its women. Minding our own business.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Scattered Scripturient says:

      Yes, agreed! Glad you enjoyed. Thank you!

      Liked by 1 person

  11. Somehow I think sharing these stories gives us more power, and I’m rather grateful for this

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Scattered Scripturient says:

      I completely agree. I try to share as often as possible!

      Like

  12. Wow, what a great piece. To have something dehumanizing and transforming it to be empowering for all women, bravo.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Scattered Scripturient says:

      Thank you so much!! ❤

      Like

  13. drainbrainx says:

    Yeah fuck that assfuck, he’s obviously a total shit

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Scattered Scripturient says:

      Haha thank you! Comment made my day.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. drainbrainx says:

        Very fucking glad it did 😎

        Liked by 1 person

  14. Julia Weston says:

    Well said. We shouldn’t have to carry mace to take out the garbage. Must have been SO hard not to tell him off, but I’m glad you didn’t.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Scattered Scripturient says:

      Thank you! It was very hard, but I am also happy I didn’t. He would have gotten satisfaction from that. Thanks for reading 😊

      Liked by 1 person

  15. omotomoni says:

    Beautiful piece❤

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Scattered Scripturient says:

      Thank you ❤

      Like

  16. “A woman doesn’t owe you a response because you said hi to her. A woman doesn’t owe you a damn thing.” that’s so true.. I loved the letter😊

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Scattered Scripturient says:

      Thank you!! 🙂 🙂 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  17. Seriously awesome. ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Scattered Scripturient says:

      Thank you 😊 😊

      Like

  18. Trini says:

    My sister was telling me about a similar experience she had with a harasser… I’ve never experienced something like this myself but I can’t imagine how terrifying it must have felt. My heart goes out to you and everyone else who had this happen

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Scattered Scripturient says:

      Thank you, very much appreciate your kind words❤

      Like

  19. speak766 says:

    Beautiful and well expressed piece. I love how you said that you didn’t owe this man a damn thing – because that’s the truth. I am glad you were able to get away, but it’s not fair that women still face so much harassment, that we have to be worried about going out at night to take the trash. Thank you for writing this letter and bringing attention to this issue. Wish you all the best – speak766

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Scattered Scripturient says:

      Thank you so much ❤

      I completely agree. So many people out there think that this either doesn't happen or it isn't a big deal. I hope more people continue to bring more attention to the subject and lots of detail. Awareness is key!

      Thanks again 🙂

      Like

  20. Britney says:

    It’s so scary living in this world sometimes. People are just heartless and you never know what they’re capable of. I’m glad nothing worse happened.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Scattered Scripturient says:

      It really is! Thank you so much! I am too.

      Like

  21. Wow, this was great, I loved that you realised that you didn’t owe that weirdo anything.

    Liked by 1 person

  22. lilesosanna says:

    When I was young I thought that as I grew older this type of harassment would stop; how wrong I was. It never stops the men that think that you are there to be used, to be abused to be degraded. Men really need to start to take responsibility for their actions and to start to put pressure on other men to behave in a civilized manner.
    I’m so fed up right now of workmen who I hire to do a job who try to rip me off by either not doing the work correctly or by charging too much, simply because I am a woman and they think that they can get away with it.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Scattered Scripturient says:

      Yessss I completely agree!! Good men need to step in more and hold other men accountable. We as women try to, but those men are sexist and will never listen to a woman. It’s very sad. I don’t think it will ever change but I hope it does.

      Liked by 1 person

  23. The world is a scary place. I moved to Tokyo and have been harassed like that, touched, and stalked every single week (literally why I’m leaving). When are men around the world going to understand that kind of thing is not acceptable? At least in my experience it makes women feel so powerless, there’s nothing we can do to make it stop… I’m sorry you had to go through it too.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Scattered Scripturient says:

      I’m so sorry that has been your experience. I completely agree. I think raising awareness to the issue is a start, but part of me feels this is how it will always be. Thanks you! ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  24. Kajolawana says:

    It’s so bizzare how some men think they have the right to do shit like this, we all experience this every now and then and so have I but it takes guts to write about it, You write with confidence and I admire that! 👍

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Scattered Scripturient says:

      Thank you so much!! That’s so amazing of you to say 🙂 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  25. Drunken idiots will unfortunately always be around. Disrespectful people will always be around. I’m glad you didn’t give him the time of day. That was a good idea having your phone ready just in case he tried something. Glad he didn’t.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Scattered Scripturient says:

      Yes unfortunately you’re right they will always be! Thank you though 😊

      Like

  26. pheredia91 says:

    I’m sorry this happened to you. I really love the way you carried yourself and stood your ground. An inspiration for me as well 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Scattered Scripturient says:

      Awe thank you so much! Really appreciate the kind words 😊😊

      Like

  27. muskan3916 says:

    Mind blowing miss

    Like

  28. I appreciate you for sharing your story! I feel like I’m also on the brink of feeling comfortable enough to share mine (I didn’t happen to get away in time unfortunately). And somehow, we still have faith in humanity… 😉

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Scattered Scripturient says:

      Thank you. 😊❤ but yes, so many times I have almost lost it but for every shitty person there is a one good person. I hope you do share your story if you genuinely want to! ❤

      Like

  29. yohnnaa says:

    Such a high-power message u got there! 🤗💕

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Scattered Scripturient says:

      Thank you ❤

      Liked by 1 person

      1. yohnnaa says:

        Hope u dont mind to check my blogs! 🙂 thanks a lot!!!

        Liked by 1 person

  30. munira2004 says:

    Powerful and inspiring article.

    Like

  31. How frightening for you! Great read! Well said!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Scattered Scripturient says:

      Thank you ❤

      Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s