I’m behind in life, and because of that, I’m a failure.
I have friends graduated with a bachelors degree, and starting their careers. Meanwhile, I’m still picking up part time administrative work, and I feel like crap because of it.
I read a quote the other day that read “The only person you should be comparing yourself to, is you yesterday.”
It sounds like a nice thought, but really, does anyone do that? Maybe those people that seem to be completely emotionally stable with an inner confidence in themselves. You know, the people who just do, and don’t overthink every possible outcome. I wonder what it’s like to be them, because I never have been.
At 18, I was expected to know what I wanted to do with the rest of my life, like every other 18 year old has been expected to know. I just couldn’t handle it. I didn’t even believe that I truly had a purpose. I was lost, but I was supposed to be in college, because I was 18 years old, and that’s what every other 18 year old was doing, so I enrolled.
I was advised to take a year of basic classes to figure out what I wanted to do, so I did. But a year later, I still had no clarity, but I was already in college, and I needed to pick a major, so I picked business administration. I don’t know why. I just did because I needed to pick something.
As you can imagine, that didn’t work out. College is hard, and it’s even harder when what you’re going to school for isn’t even close to what you want to be doing. I maintained a 3.6 GPA, and I worked until I achieved my associates degree, but after that I dropped out, because I just simply didn’t want to be there anymore.
Ever since then, I’ve just been disappointed in myself. I’ve watched my friends achieve their goals, and I’m truly happy for them. They’ve all worked so hard, and they truly deserve it. I just can’t help but compare my own situation to theirs.
I mean we’re both 23…shouldn’t we both be in the exact same spot in life?
No, it doesn’t work that way, because that makes absolutely no sense, and the reason why is simple. Their story isn’t my story. I can wish every day that it was, but it isn’t, because it isn’t supposed to be, and it’s taken me far too long to realize that.
I don’t have to be at certain spot in my life because I’m 23 years old, and I’m not behind in life. I’m exactly where I am supposed to be, because if I was anywhere else, I wouldn’t be me.
The experiences we have and the way we get through life, defines us. It builds us. I was supposed to know what I wanted to do with my life at 18 years old, but I didn’t. I know now though, and as hard as it’s going to be, I’m going back to college to do what I have to do, and achieve my goals.
I owe it to the person I want to be. I won’t get hung up on everyone else around me. I won’t question whether or not it’s worth it, because I know that it will be. I get one life, and wasting time comparing mine, to others, is pointless.
I’m not a failure because I haven’t gotten to where I want to go yet. I would be a failure if I let that stop me.
My story isn’t anyone else’s. It’s mine, and it’s only just beginning.
After all, I’m only 23.