I’m freeing myself.
From that overwhelming feeling of never being good enough. From that screaming voice inside my head that convinces me I’m unworthy. And from every threatening lie that persuades my mind into thinking I am in competition with all of those around me.
I am slowly learning that life isn’t a competition, or that at least it doesn’t have to be. I am learning that I don’t have to compare my body to the model I saw on Instagram. I don’t need to feel stupid because a friend makes more money than I do. And I do not need to view myself as less than I am because I am not who I want to be yet.
I am slowly learning that my life is mine, and that other people’s lives are theirs, and that it’s okay that we’re all different people, in different places in life. I am learning that I don’t need to be in a race with any single person around me. I don’t need to love myself less because I envy someone I’m not. I am learning I can feel good about myself for my small accomplishments instead of tearing myself down for all of my failures.
I am slowly learning to shamelessly love me, and not because I am supposed to, but because I am easier to love than I ever used to believe. I can feel good about myself, even on the days I’m not the best version of myself. I can accomplish personal growth without tearing myself apart. I can learn from my mistakes and hold myself accountable for my actions without believing they are all that I am.
And finally, I am slowly getting better at believing all of this every single day. I am learning that it isn’t just okay to not be okay, but that it’s perfectly normal. I am learning that I am not perfect, but that nobody else is either. I am slowly learning that perfection means something is finished, and that I’d choose to keep living, growing, and loving over being perfect any day.
I am slowly learning that I am happy to be me.
And now I am free.
Or at least I’m as close as I can be.